Journey to the Center of the Self V: The Haunting Spectre of Mental Illness and What I Learned in 2018


At the beginning of 2018, I had every intention of claiming the year as my own and building myself into the best person I could be, using Journey to the Center of the Self as a guide, a way to keep myself in check. My opening article, "New Year, Better You", was a discussion of the six things I was committed to working on over the coming twelve months. But it all fell apart shortly after that. Despite my very best efforts, this plan did not work out as I intended.

For most of the year, I stayed in a dark depression, fueled by ongoing negative events in my life. The all-encompassing quality of depression does not lend itself nicely to trying to be happier and healthier.

In spite of the haunting spectre of depression and mental illness, I learned a lot about myself in 2018 and ended up coming out of it a better version of myself. I discovered patience for my growth; I learned to not judge myself based on societal standards; I began taking time for the things and people I love.

The most important thing I learned last year though was acceptance of myself, as I am in the moment. Not every day will be perfect, but I can see myself in a better light. I understand my worth. I am now truly at a point where I can heal.

These lessons have made this journey worth it. I am ready for 2019.